Are Bananas Christian?
David O. Taylor
July 1, 1999
It was a funny day when God created bananas. I mean, really, what was he thinking? Bananas!? "That's a funny idea," said the Son. But the Father was insistent. "Yellow beingness," he cried, "we must have a fruit with yellow beingness! It's got to be." And so the Son and the Holy Ghost thought, "Sure, why not we can make a fruit with yellow beingness; sounds like a pretty good idea." And so the Son took the Father's idea for yellow beingness and whipped up a batch, or bunch, of what he thought might work for yellow-fruit beingness. After he was done, the Son passed it on to the Spirit so that he could give it some punch and perhaps a few healthy ingredients (this all being, of course, a cooperative effort).Talking out loud to himself, as was his habit, the Spirit worked all night and all day on the yellow-fruit being: "Vitamin A, vitamin B, vitamin C," he mumbled to himself, "yes, that's good, that's very good. Okay, now, hmmm … we'll give it 75.7 percent water, 22.2 percent carbohydrates, 1.1 percent protein, 0.2 percent fat, and 0.8 percent other." "And lots and lots of potassium," added the Son. "Oh, yes, perfect. That's just right," said the Spirit, "lots of potassium. I love potassium.""But what shall we do with the peeling?" the Spirit asked, his forehead wrinkling. "Hmmm," the Son thought, "let's make the peeling germ-proof and dirt-proof and easy to peel. How does that sound?" "Perfect!" the Spirit exclaimed. "That's the perfect peeling! You're so good, Jesus, you're so good.""But what about a name?" the Son now asked. "Well," said the Spirit, "I was thinking about Musa paradisiac sapientum. What do you think?" "Oh, that's way too complicated," said the Son. "We need something simpler." "Like what?" the Spirit ...
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