ARTICLE TOOLS

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It should be no surprise that Christians stand starkly apart from modern culture on the issue of sex. But evangelical Christians find it easier to oppose the evils of abortion and euthanasia—and gather allies, both non-Protestant and even non-Christian—than to speak effectively against the pervasive culture of sexual permissiveness that surrounds us. We should be deeply concerned that discerning, culturally aware Christians struggle to oppose, even mentally, the sexual ethics of pop culture.

Progress in this area is unquestionably important. As the Federal Marriage Amendment sputters along, opponents of same-sex marriage struggle to convince an apathetic public why marriage should remain between a man and a woman. Our best bet is to promote a comprehensive view of how marriage, love, sex, and child rearing fit together in a coherent doctrine of sex. We must take a deeper look into why our culture thinks promiscuous sex is no big deal, and point out where this thinking goes wrong.

Where do we begin? First, we can join Philip Yancey and clearly state that sex should always be relational. Our culture turns sexuality into a commodity—both overtly, through pornography and prostitution, and covertly, though the media-crafted assumptions of free, safe sex that is disconnected from any deeper commitment or emotional ties. Sex becomes nothing but an animalistic act of satiation, equally as valid with a newly met stranger as with a marriage partner.

But to raise the sexual act to a relational issue, as the world understands it, is not enough: We see the lip service paid to love in our culture on daily basis, with the accompanying abuses resulting from our enslavement to emotion. Changing our focus from primal attraction to self-serving relationships is hardly an improvement. Premarital sexual liaisons and divorces are excused with "We''re in love, so why wait?" alternating with "Our love is gone, so why stay?" Even in Christian contexts, these excuses are sometimes tacitly accepted as valid.

The relations we form in and through sexual relations cannot be just about us and our own needs. True relationship and, to employ a much-abused phrase, true love are found only in a deep and abiding concern for the other, a concern exercised through conscious commitment and sacrifice. In short, sex should be treated as a model of Christian love, and thus emblematic of Christ''s love for us. A proper view of sexuality thus requires a proper understanding of our relationship to God (and here the Catholics have a slight head start on us).

Particularly with sex, we cannot—and should not—separate the physical from the relational and the spiritual. Sex is a metaphysical union, binding man and woman together. Any lesser view cheapens the act of love expressed within that union—and, not so coincidentally, opens the door to a host of ills that our culture promotes.

Developing a Christian view of sex is one component. Communicating and living this worldview is the next part. Sadly, as Ron Sider recently noted, American Christians—even evangelical ones—have much trouble living up to their sexual ethics. With our house in such disorder, it is hard for non-Christian listeners to hear our complaints about a broken world with a straight face.

Two helpful approaches for encouraging Christian living: First, understand that the loneliness expressed by singles is reflective of genuine needs and desires. The yearnings experienced by those not yet in a committed loving relationship are not merely the result of being caught up in a culture where sexual fulfillment is the beginning and end of happiness (although that culture certainly doesn''t help). Their desires reflect the deep spiritual desire we have to be loved, and should be addressed by the church.

Second, be willing to speak boldly and openly with fellow Christians about sex. Admit where the modern world has given us areas of ambiguity, and deal with them in dialogue. If Christians can''t adequately explain and defend our positions even among ourselves, then our attempt to witness these truths to the world is a forlorn hope. And if recent polls by Christianity Today International are any indication, most parishioners do not merely need to hear more about sex, they actually want to.