Creating a Climate for Lasting Marriages
Ken Wilson
The preparation I was giving couples once they had decided to be married seemed helpful as far as it went, but for an increasing number, it was simply too little, too late.
Ken Wilson
Laura was telling me about one of the best things God had ever brought into her life. His name was Jim: she loved to be with him; he was always on her mind; she felt more alive than she had ever felt before. Laura knew beyond a shadow of a doubt this was true love.
When I discovered Jim wasn't a Christian and I shared my concern about the handicap this would be to their unity, Laura wasn't fazed. It was as if I were criticizing his hair style. She was swept up in a wonderful feeling. I just didn't understand.
Laura married Jim, and sadly, now finds herself divorced.
John and Amy sat with nervous excitement in the chairs in my office. They had just announced their engagement and had come to me for "premarriage counseling." Their expectations, though unstated, were clear: I should warmly congratulate them, confer on a date for the wedding, give them a booklet on wedding plans, and offer pastoral perspective on what makes a marriage work.
There was only one problem: I wasn't sure this marriage would work. Amy, I knew, was strong-willed, had a good deal of Christian training, and held high standards for Christian living. John, a fairly new Christian, tended toward moodiness. He was still working through some strong doubts.
I felt a responsibility to share my concerns and ask them to defer setting a date until these concerns were addressed. But I wondered whether this option was workable. They were, after all, deeply in love by this time. They had followed a typical American dating pattern that included a good deal of sexual contact short of actual intercourse. ...
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