How Much Should We Shelter Our Kids?
Wayne Gordon
We don't do our children a favor when we protect them from the world.
— Wayne Gordon
Thirteen years ago my wife, Anne, gave birth to our daughter, Angela. Two days later I proudly drove my Chevy to the front door of the hospital and assisted Anne and Angela into the car. Pulling away from the curb, we headed for the Chicago inner-city apartment where we had lived for three years.
When we crossed California Avenue and entered the Lawndale neighborhood with its glass-strewn empty lots and burned-out tenements, my wife began weeping.
"What are you crying about?" I asked. "This is a happy moment." (The proud father got a failing mark for sensitivity that day.)
"How can we bring our innocent little daughter into this environment?" she sobbed.
I figured my wife's emotions had something to do with postpartum depression, but I also suspected her maternal instincts were on target. Though I am not often burdened by guilt, at that moment, I began to feel guilty about where I had brought my family for the sake of ministry.
Pressures on the Pastor's Family
Inner-city ministry isn't the only ministry that is risky to a family. Frequent moves can traumatize a spouse and children. Churches that openly criticize a pastor can leave a family bitter toward ministry. And then there are the many normal complications of church life. Let me note three.
• Failed role models. Several years ago, a popular young man, who eventually became a deacon in our church, was like a pied piper to the children. He spent considerable time with all the children, including mine, regularly taking them to the lake and the park.
Then we learned his girlfriend was pregnant. My children, who were in elementary school at the time, old enough to understand what was going on, began ...
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