A Crash Course in Conflict
Gary Fenton
Much of church conflict is more like championship wrestling than city riots: it's usually not as painful as it looks.
—Gary Fenton
Ayoung leader is angered that the church Bible study she attends is now being taught by a kind but incompetent gentleman. The former teacher, who established and built the class, has been asked by the education director to take a new assignment.
The young leader does not want to see the class dwindle. Nor does she want to be a troublemaker. But she recently attended a seminar on leadership sponsored by her employer; she wants to address the problem.
She does—and sees it escalate from a problem to a conflict. Although the incompetent teacher was removed and the class remained strong, several folks were hurt along the way, including the teacher. But the most lasting impact was on the young leader. She grew negative and judgmental. Although prepared to cope with conflict in the corporate world, she was unprepared to deal with it in her church.
After this happened in our congregation, we added a section in our leadership training on dealing with conflict.
Much of church conflict is more like championship wrestling than city riots: it's usually not as painful as it looks. We cannot prepare church leaders for all types of conflict, so we give them three basic principles that can be adapted to meet the specific situation.
1. There is a difference between concerned disagreement and conflict.
Conflict is a disagreement that keeps decisions from being made or the group from moving forward after the decision has been made.
Often leaders fear that any disagreement indicates conflict. A problem or difference of opinion, however, does not mean there is a conflict. There is conflict only when the group cannot make ...
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