Healing Scars of Childhood Abuse
Al Miles
January 1, 1997
Sexual abuse of children by adults has a history that can be traced back to Bible times. No age, race, sex, socioeconomic group, or religion is spared this tragic history.
—Al Miles
As a little girl, Andrea was the picture of beauty and innocence. Secure with her parents and eight brothers on a small farm that was her world, Andrea loved the country.
"My dad was poor, but I loved him and thought he was wonderful," Andrea says.
"I would run to him, and he'd lift me up to the ceiling. I felt so proud to be his only daughter. He called me his 'angel,' his 'sweetheart,' his 'princess.'"
But when she was thirteen, Andrea's father added one more term of affection—"lover."
"It was around 6:00 a.m., already light outside. I woke to find my dad lying on top of me, sucking my breasts. Scared to death, I hated him for what he was doing to me. Most thirteen-year-olds were talking about boys, but I had this man—my father—damaging me forever.
"I looked at the ceiling and prayed he would finish without going into my underpants. When he didn't, I felt lucky. The only words spoken were when he said, 'Nothing's wrong with what I did' and 'You don't have to say anything to your mother about this.'
"When he walked out of my bedroom, I thought I would hate him forever. I knew my life would never be the same. My mom continued working nights, so I spent many sleepless nights after that, scared that Dad would come in my room again. He never did, but I wanted someone to protect me."
For nearly twenty years, Andrea told no one her terrible secret.
"I coped," she recalls, "by pretending it didn't happen or by minimizing its effects. I never forgot, but I told myself it wasn't that bad. It only happened once.
"And, yet," she continues, "I really hated my dad. ...
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