The Brave New Case for Chastity
When defending purity, go right to the heart.
Frederica Mathewes-Green
April 1, 2005
As Lauren Winner points out, we don't do much good using flawed arguments to dissuade the unmarried from sex. In addition to the "fibs" Lauren cites, I hear another: our foundational premise that it's a matter of "objective morality."
Some pastors complain that today's generation has no absolute values; that "There is no right and wrong." But this is likely to strike hearers as flat-out wrong. The students I know believe it's objectively wrong to dump someone in a callous way. It's wrong to have sex with someone who isn't willing. It's wrong to transgress any of a hundred subtle cues about who may sleep with whom under what circumstances. They think there's plenty of objective morality on their side. As far as they can see, theirs is working and ours looks pointlessly extreme. Why should they switch? Our argument sounds like nothing more than "because I said so."
What we really mean, of course, is "because God said so." And indeed, persevering in chastity is so difficult that no other motive except self-abandoning love of God is sufficient. Doing the right thing is not guaranteed to make you happy, and the wicked sometimes thrive. But because the love of God constrains us, because our bodies are not our own but bought with a price, we persevere in a difficult path, pressing on toward the light ahead.
Now, this is a difficult sell to people who don't believe in God. But I believe the only conversation that will currently make sense begins with faith in God. The best we can do is speak passionately about our own transformative contact with God, and how it has reordered actions and relationships, and empowered ever-greater deeds and greater love. It's not a bad story, actually, and authentic passion connects with an audience in ...
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