When a Child Dies
by Cinda Gorman
January 1, 1901
Cinda Gorman wrote this article for Leadership in 1989, and readers deeply appreciated its wisdom. Less than two years after the article appeared, friends in her congregation lost their 20-month-old son in a drowning accident. She told us recently, "The death was probably one of the most difficult things we've experienced. It was more intense and just as emotionally wrenching as the death of Jarrett [whom she writes about in this article]. It never gets easier." Yet later, the grieving father shared with Cinda, "You've helped us like no one else could." That's why a pastor is so needed when a child dies, and why we decided to reprint this Leadership Classic.
I was pushing my two elementary-school-aged boys through their bedtime routine when the phone rang.
"Cinda, this is Dr. Steele. I'm in the emergency room at Grossmont Hospital with Keith and Judy Meeker. Their son, Jarrett, hanged himself on a backyard rope swing this afternoon. He's been pronounced dead. They asked that you or your husband be here."
My husband, Steve, another pastor at our church, had already left for an evening meeting. Searching my memory for a picture of the Meeker family, I came up blank. Then I remembered that last weekend Jarrett and his dad had been with the males in my family on a fishing trip with the boys' choir.
I told the doctor I would be there as soon as I could find care for my boys. I shared the news with my children as gently as possible. My friend Shar was scheduled to drop by that evening, so when she did, I greeted her as the "angel" God had provided to care for my boys.
At the hospital, I got the story: Jarrett had come home from choir practice and was playing in the backyard while his sister napped. His mom had asked him to stop throwing ...
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