Acceptable Losses
July 1, 1998
Two pastors debate whether alienating some people to attract others is good practical theology or a failure of leadership.
To grow, often a church must first lose some people. Many church leaders understand the reality of that principle. When members who resist changes that promote evangelism depart, the church is freer to achieve its mission. But in the long run, does the church benefit from a philosophy of "If you don't like it, you're welcome to leave"?
The answers significantly influence how a pastor leads change in the church. Two experienced pastors explain their differing stances.
Health Requires Pruning
My wife and I felt cramped sitting in the tiny church office with Steve and Brenda (not their real names). They wanted us to know they had decided to leave the church.
It was hard to believe what I was hearing. They were pillars. Between them, they had served on the church board, preached in worship, spoken at women's retreats, coordinated the usher ministry, taught a Bible class, and given generously.
I considered them friends.
Steve and Brenda had become increasingly dissatisfied with the direction of the church. Caring for the 99 sheep ranked higher with them than reaching the lost or displaced ones. They felt uncomfortable with our growing plans and growing pains. We had talked many times before, and they tried to be part of the solution, but ultimately they found themselves sitting on the opposite side of the fence from me.
I felt sad when they left, but I blessed them in their decision. Sometimes you must lose members who don't accept the church's mission.
Outgrown spiritual heritage
Fact: People leave churches. Often the reasons are good: a job relocation or a move to attend college. Or their spiritual convictions ...
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