Good News for the Weary
October 1, 1998
I've been tired all my life. I'm not tired because I'm lazy, not eating right, or not praying enough. I'm tired because I have a rare type of anemia. In a calling that glorifies boundless energy and charisma, I must confess to more than a few feelings of personal inadequacy. Over the years, though, God has given me a new perspective on my weak hemoglobin: it just may be a strength. Some time ago I gave up trying to be like my high-octane brethren and started to grapple with what it means to be me, and more specifically, what it means to be tired. I've birthed a kind of fatigue theology. I've seen surprising victories won from my personal battle with tiredness. So here they are: the good things fatigue brings to my life and ministry. Fatigue softens my soul
My soul often resembles soil in need of a good upturning. Having lived in the prairies and southwest, I have seen some of God's most stubborn soils. When we garden at my house, we rent a jackhammer (no fooling) to break up the dirt. It actually resembles concrete. The soul of the professional minister can easily make prairie sod or desert caliche look like loam. Cliches, one-upmanship, higher education, and battle wounds often harden our souls so little may enter, be it spiritual seed, water, or plow. Fatigue is good because it softens the soul. I'm often with a man named Rick from our church, who resembles Grizzly Adams but has a Winnie the Pooh heart. Time and again he has found me washed up, exhausted, on the beach of ministry. He innocently asks, "How are you doing?" I find that my answers tend to be more honest the more fatigued I am. ... In those vulnerable moments, I receive a great treasure: intimacy with a brother in Christ. Rick's posture has always indicated ...
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