A Crash Course in Conflict
Gary Fenton
October 1, 1996
A young leader is angered that the church Bible study she attends is now
being taught by a kind but incompetent gentleman. The former teacher, who
established and built the class, had been asked by the education director
to take a new assignment.
The young leader does not want to see the class dwindle. Nor does she want
to be a troublemaker. But she recently attended a seminar on leadership sponsored
by her employer; she wants to address the problem.
She does—and sees it escalate from a problem to a conflict. Although the
incompetent teacher was removed and the class remained strong, several folks
were hurt along the way, including the teacher. But the most lasting impact
was on the young leader. She grew negative and judgmental. Although prepared
to cope with conflict in the corporate world, she was unprepared to deal
with it in her church.
After this happened in our congregation, we added a section in our leadership
training on dealing with conflict.
Much of church conflict is more like championship wrestling than city riots:
it's usually not as painful as it looks. We cannot prepare church leaders
for all types of conflict, so we give them three basic principles, which
can be adapted to meet the specific situation.
1. There is a difference between concerned disagreement and
conflict.
Conflict is a disagreement that keeps decisions from being made or the group
from moving forward after the decision has been made.
Often leaders fear that any disagreement indicates conflict. A problem or
difference of opinion, however, does not mean there is a conflict. There
is conflict only when the group cannot make a decision or move forward.
Two years ago in a committee meeting, two strong-willed members ...
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