DON'T TELL ME TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF
Donna Schaper
April 1, 1991
Adapted from Common Sense for Men and Women in Ministry by Donna Schaper (Alban Institute, 1990).
As a pastor and a parent, I work two shifts, one at church and the second at home. At the church, I minister and administer, marry and bury, preach and pray, and in a thousand other ways, "do church." At home I get cards to in-laws, groceries to refrigerators, children to birthday parties, and garments to and from the dry cleaner.
Like most pastors (and parents), I have been charged with the job of caring. It's a never-ending task.
This job description joins my authority as pastor in requiring me to shoot the next person who tells me to "take care of myself." I know I can't continue forever to do dishes and talk on the phone simultaneously. The day will come when I won't have the energy to do my correspondence in the evening while watching television. I don't plan to go on like this forever, not wasting a moment. But until my three children are raised and/or the millennium arrives, I don't plan to take care of myself. I plan to take care of my children and my promises to God and the church.
Some people accuse me of doing too much. My mother does, as do my friends who read too many magazines on the fine art of self-care. "Oh, my," they all say about my three children, my fulltime job, and my full calendar, "I just don't know how you do it."
"That's the whole point," I reply. "I don't do it."
My vocation is caring, and every day I fail to fully realize it. You can't succeed in caring; you simply do as much as you can and try to stretch your capacity.
I don't finish everything I start. For every call I make, I can think of two more I should have made. I leave the phone answering machine on for extensive periods when I am home. I cut corners. ...
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