Even Pastors Need Friends
Despite the dangers, one pastor has found that a few close friends are good for him… and the congregation.
Rick McKinniss
October 1, 1984
Over the years I have heard many reasons why pastors should avoid the entanglements of friendship. Some say friends might be nice, but the time and energy demands of the ministry simply won't allow for such self-indulgence. Friendships in the congregation are certainly out of bounds, according to many, and even too much ministerial golf is a problem.
Though this has modified somewhat in recent years, both clergy and congregation can have difficulty with the pastor engaging in something so human as friendship. Congregations have been notorious for keeping pastors properly perched atop a pedestal, and many pastors like the view from that perch. They are reluctant to come down and enter relationships of vulnerability and intimacy.
And if the friendship happens to be with a church member, others in the congregation can become suspicious. Charges of favoritism and undue influence have been whispered in the halls of more than one church.
To be sure, not all these reasons are easily dismissed. Maintaining a friendship does demand a fair amount of time and energy (both of which can be in short supply). And certainly some charges of favoritism and influence-wielding are well founded. Pastors at times have had their perceptions skewed and judgments clouded because of improper loyalties to one or two members.
Though some of us may not want to admit it, however, neither roles nor robes nor collars nor titles can hide the reality that we are human. People need friends—even people who happen to be pastors.
Many biblical examples support this position. From David to Jesus to Paul, the wise have always known it is unwise to travel through life without the joy, comfort, and encouragement of companions. Beyond this scriptural precedent, ...
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