REQUESTS TO REMARRY: THE PASTOR'S CATCH-22
Leadership Forum
July 1, 1983
Oklahoma may seem an unlikely place to discuss divorce and remarriage. After all, it's the state that inspired a wholesome, well-scrubbed musical and spawned esteemed family man James Dobson. The land of oil wells, a prayer tower, and straight-living towns like Merle Haggard's Muskogee are a world away from the revolving liaisons of Hollywood and the quickie marriage parlors of Reno.
But even the western end of the Bible Belt has been frayed by the growing national trend. All four ministers in this forum are confronting more and more people seeking remarriage. One said that fully half the requests he gets to officiate at weddings come from those previously married.
It's a volatile subject. How can pastors minister to such people without undermining the Bible's teaching on marriage? Of all the LEADERSHIP forums, this one provoked the most disagreement. Yet interestingly, the afternoon discussion in Tulsa was not disagreeable.
In voices softened with drawls and respect, the participants spoke honestly and openly. They are:
J. Hardin Boyer, pastor of Tulsa Bible Church, who does not remarry at all unless the previous spouse is dead;
Harold Ivan Smith, former Nazarene pastor until his own divorce, then a denominational specialist, now head of a Kansas City-based ministry to singles called Tear Catchers;
Ralph Speas, minister of Christian education at Tulsa's Eastwood Baptist Church, who remarries only in the aftermath of adultery or desertion and requires the person first to make a serious attempt at reconciliation with the previous mate;
Robert Wise, pastor of Our Lord's Community Church (Reformed Church in America) in Oklahoma City, who decides remarriage questions on a case-by-case basis.
None of the four speaks for his denomination ...
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