Four Keys To Better Family Life
A pastor can have an effective ministry and have adequate time for his family too.
Roger C. Palms
October 1, 1981
Recently I met a pastor who has a radio ministry to children. Between that broadcast, the need to answer the correspondence that comes as a result of it, and his ongoing parish ministry, he is working seven days and nights a week. As he was telling me about the great success of his ministry to children, I asked him, "How much time do you spend with your own children?" He replied, "Oh, I don't have time for that, but they have to understand that this is my ministry."
A clergyman's wife asked me a difficult question:
"Can God really bless my husband's ministry?" Then she told me why she asked. He is a church leader with a responsible position, much in demand in leadership circles, and so busy with Christian causes that he has found it "necessary" to move out and live on his own. She is left to cope with the children, raising them herself. She cried as she asked, "Isn't he supposed to be home with us?"
These two conversations, coupled with my own pastoral experience, raised anew for me a concern for church leaders' families. Are we saying often enough to our church leaders, "Your family is your ministry too," and saying it before a wayward drift begins?
I've thought about this in light of my own family, and have realized that in many ways it is easier to avoid family crises outside of church ministry than within church ministry. There are reasons for this.
We can be tempted to build into our concept of church ministry some of the very weaknesses that lead to the breakdown of marriage and family. Clergy do this without realizing what they are doing. I know. I did it, and left the ministry because of it.
In the ministry I was caught by the need to prove myself a good pastor. I taught by my actions and words that God's work is church ...
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