My New Club
January 1, 2003
Grady Smith is on line one for you, Todd," announced my secretary. Grady never called to complain, criticize, or bare the depths of his soul—that wasn't his style. Grady usually called for one reason—golf. "Todd," he said, "several guys are traveling down to Jekyll Island next month for a four-day golf outing. We have a spot open and wondered if you'd like to go?" Wow! I felt like a candidate who had just won an election—thrilled to have been chosen, yet wondering how I was going to carry out the plan. Getting away for 18 holes was hard enough. How in the world would I manage to leave town for four days, just to have fun? I wondered. What if a church member dies? Whatever happened, I was glad to hear from Grady. I needed a break, and it would be good to spend some time with Grady and a few other guys outside my usual circles. It takes work for ministers to have friends. Staying out of the traps
Grady's call indicates a shift in my thinking since I started in the pastorate nearly 13 years ago. At first, virtually all of my close friends were fellow ministers. I was young, inexperienced, insecure, and always ready to talk "shop." Those relationships proved valuable. I received helpful advice, and I forged friendships that remain today. But in time I grew frustrated with keeping only pastor-friends. I grew stagnant, as three problems routinely surfaced: - The competition trap. Too often, I felt a sense of inadequacy, even jealousy, as others gave glowing reports of their work. Conversations slid into statistical sand traps, as we discussed our attendance, offerings, and altar call responses.
It reminds me of a fable in Steve Seamands's book, A Conversation with Jesus. As the devil was crossing the Libyan desert, he came upon some frustrated junior devils who were tempting a saintly Desert Father.
First they enticed him with lustful thoughts. When that didn't work, they tried to fill his mind with doubts and fears about his relationship with God. Then they raised questions about the sincerity of his sacrificial lifestyle. Each time, they failed.
Then the devil himself stepped in. "Your methods are much too crude," he said. "Permit me for a moment."
Approaching the Desert Father he said, "Have you heard the news? Your brother has just been made Bishop of Alexandria." Almost immediately, a scowl of jealousy broke across the saintly man's face.
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