The Underparented Generation Spring 2002

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Pastor Dan?" I heard a quiet voice on the other end of the phone.

"Yes."

"This is Ted. I need to talk to you—bad. Something's happened." He was reluctant to talk over the phone, and sensing the urgency I agreed to meet with him.

I saw him coming as I peered out my office window. Gone were the familiar bounce in his step and mischievous smile on his face. Ted entered the room and slumped in a chair. His eyes were bloodshot and his face drawn.

Covering his face with his hands for a few moments, he slowly withdrew them and let out a long sigh. Then he began quietly. Lisa, his wife, had been on a business trip recently. Upon her return Ted found evidence suggesting that she'd had a sexual encounter. Lisa denied it at first, but then confessed.

"I can't believe her anymore, Pastor. I feel like I've been violated. And when I told her I knew about the affair, she lied. And the worse part is when she finally admitted it, she acted like it was no big deal. She told me I needed to 'get over it.' She has an affair and I just need to get over it!?"

I listened as I had been trained, with quiet compassion, wincing sympathetically as the sordid details poured from his mouth. His body heaved with quiet sobs. Tears flowed freely.

After I spoke some comforting words and prayed with Ted, he asked if I would meet with Lisa. I agreed, and he thanked me profusely. It's always comforting to be able to truly help someone when they need it. That's why I entered the ministry.

When Lisa came into my office, she was very tentative. The atmosphere was charged. Will she admit the affair? I wondered. Will she deny it? I smiled and motioned for her to sit down.

"Lisa, you know I've talked with Ted. Why don't you tell me in your own words what happened?"

Her eyes ...

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