Counseling the Rape Victim
Danny Armstrong
January 1, 1997
The rape victim's loss is profound. She has not lost another loved one, she has lost her own loved one, herself.
—Danny Armstrong She will come to your office like most others do, by appointment. The rape took place quite some time ago, perhaps months, perhaps years. Only now has she worked up enough courage to talk about it. At first she will probably not mention the rape itself, but some of her resultant problems: a feeling of despair, inability to trust people, fear, and others. If you really listen and feed back her feelings accurately, chances are she will proceed past these presenting problems to the one she really came to talk about—her rape. Your first obligation, then, is to listen. Without this crucial step, she may never reveal her true problem. If she accepts the risk and reveals that she has been raped, you should know seven feelings common to rape victims. There are others, but these seem to be recurrent. What They Feel
Number one is anger. Rape victims are some of the most intensely angry people I have ever met. They are "mad as hell," and would kill their rapist if they knew who he was and if they could get away with it. But they are not only angry with their rapist. They are angry about people's attitudes who look upon rape as a sexual crime instead of a crime of violence. They are outraged at injustice, as rapists are set free on bonds, given light or suspended sentences, or early paroles. They are furious at having been personally violated. Number two is dirty. Despite numerous bathings, the rape victim cannot feel clean, at least not for a long time. She feels contaminated and degraded. Even her right to cleanliness and hygiene has been taken away from her. Number three is hopeless. One day she was happy, optimistic, ...
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