Now That I'm a Grown-Up
WHEN I WAS A YOUNG PASTOR I would regularly go up stairs two at a time. I was gifted with energy, enthusiasm, and optimism—the hallmarks of youth. I made calls three nights a week, preached Sunday mornings, Sunday evenings, and Wednesday evenings, and I believed there was no problem our church couldn't solve. I was pastoring in Tyler, Texas, when an incident made me realize that I could not go on like this forever. Every Wednesday I spoke at a noonday luncheon for businesspeople, an event that drew about two hundred. One Wednesday my adrenaline was not pumping; I was dragging throughout the day. Later a staff member said, "You're not doing real well, are you." "I'm doing fine," I said. "Why do you say that?" "I watched you go up the stairs at the luncheon today. You were really laboring. There was no energy in your step—but when you came out in front of the group, you really turned it on. You can't keep doing that." I tried to dismiss his concerns by saying I was having a tough week. But as I thought about it later, I realized that recently I had taken the back way on Wednesdays so no one would see me trudging in. I was tired, and it was not just from hard work. I knew I had to conserve energy for my presentation. I was not a twenty-five-year-old anymore. Hard-wired pastor
To the young, God gives physical energy and optimism. In mid-life and beyond, he gives wisdom—which helps us know best where to put our energies. But because the church tends to reward the upbeat, go-getting attitudes of youth, a mid-life pastor faces a crisis when he realizes he can no longer "run up the steps," when his energy begins to flag as never before. He may view this change as loss. When this happens, there are usually three temptations: fake it and ...
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