Keeping Enemies Close
I WAS IN MY NEW PASTORATE for less than three months when one of the founding laymen took me to lunch. "It seems to me," he started out, "and I've confirmed this with a number of other key people in the church, that you may not be the right person for this job after all." He pointed to a couple of insignificant (at least to me) changes I had made in the worship service and how that had offended some people involved in our music program. "In fact," he warned, "there are a growing number of people who just plain don't like you or where you're leading the church. I'm not sure those people will remain in the church if you stay." This is yet another anecdote from the story I told in chapter 1. Perhaps it was a harbinger of what was to come. I certainly didn't realize it at the rime. After my forced exit, I realized that I had either ignored or avoided or didn't know about a key role of leadership: As a pastor, I must maintain healthy relationships with all the people in the church, even those with whom that is difficult. Put bluntly, I must shepherd people who don't like me—and those I don't really like. That is an enormous challenge, especially when you're feeling beat up, insecure, and ready to throw in the towel. Another challenge may be the simple admission that, truth be told, we don't like certain people in the church. We want to believe we love all of God's children. But it seems clear it's normal for every church to have a couple people who are tough to like and, consequently, tough to pastor. Not to care for those who persecute us, though, only invites trouble down the road. Our instincts drive us to avoid feeling uncomfortable, but that drive can cripple our effectiveness as leaders. Nowhere in Scripture am I instructed to ...
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