Emptying the Reservoir of Pain
SEVERAL YEARS INTO a harried ministry, I began to break down. No mentor had ever explained to me how to handle the stresses of a growing church and a growing family. One Saturday evening I sat behind the orange couch in our den and began to cry. When I got hold of my emotions, I called Steve, our counselor on staff, and said, "I've been crying. I am no psychologist, but I know enough to know I need help."
"I saw this coming," Steve said. "I have contacted a counselor who specializes in management-level stress. His name is Jerry. He is waiting for your call."
During my initial consultation, Jerry gave me a battery of simple tests. He scored the results and said, "I can help you. Ten sessions ought to do it."
I checked with my insurance company and discovered the sessions were not covered in our policy. I told my wife, "I don't think we can afford $500."
She replied, "It will be worth every penny if he can get you fixed for only $500. It's worth that much to stay in the ministry."
I made the investment, and at the end of the third session Jerry said, "One of your tests shows that you are very angry."
Shocked, I said, "How can that be? I'm a pastor. I'm gentle and kind and tenderhearted and patient."
Jerry said, "I don't know about that, but I do know the test indicates that you are a very angry man. I want you to read The Angry Book by Theodore Rubin."1
The book was all about me. Rubin's premise is that properly processed anger does not accumulate; however, most people have never learned to handle anger properly. As a result, many build up a large reservoir of unprocessed anger that remains unnoticed until the reservoir overflows.
For about twenty chapters, Rubin details the "anger poisons" that ooze out disguised as anxiety, depression, ...
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