Who's In Charge?

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I want to be a warm and gentle pastor who comforts and the visionary leader who challenges.
— Jack Hayford

One Saturday years ago some stunning, painful news came to me. Through a counseling conversation, I discovered that a pastor in our church had fallen into adultery. Since I trusted the person giving me this information, I knew I had to act — but what should I do exactly? I didn't want to presume his guilt; then again, if he was at fault, I had to deal with him.

The following Tuesday, that same pastor snapped at another staff member, so I decided to call him into my office to talk about that. Meanwhile, I hoped he would acknowledge his immorality in the course of the conversation.

Having known and even been involved in the training of this young man for years, I could be direct. In fact, I was pretty hard on him about his snapping remark. "We don't treat each other like that," I stressed. Then, spontaneously, I added, "But that's not the only problem here, is it?"

He looked up at me, began to tremble, hung his head, and wept.

I wept with him. He was not an evil man, but he had succumbed to weakness.

In the days that followed, I walked a fine line. I needed to lead, to take a strong stand against sexual sin, both with this man in private and before the entire church. Yet I needed to be pastoral, bringing healing and restoration. Both were essential for this individual and his wife, as well as the church.

This is just one example of the tension between leading and feeding. And it is a tension.

When a pastor primarily feeds, people enjoy the church but lack a corporate sense of destiny. They graze comfortably in the valley and never climb to new heights. The church has a warm, fuzzy feeling, and people enjoy the inspiration and ...

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