Light From an Eight-Watt Ministry
IN GRADE SCHOOL I played the saxophone for two years and then quit. One event that no doubt contributed to this was the annual concert held at the junior high school across town. I remember only one song from that concert: "Red River Valley." And although I liked the song before the concert, I do not recall it fondly. On that evening I sat in front of more people than I ever had in my memory: a sea of students' parents, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles. We came to the end of "Red River Valley," and we were supposed to play it twice. So I plowed ahead, blew hard, and belted out the first note of the song. But my plaintive G was the only sound that came forth from the orchestra. Somehow—I still do not know how—everyone else knew we were playing the song only once. Even though I stopped after one note, that one honk was enough. The crowd laughed, all the kids in the orchestra turned and looked at me, and I turned as red as the river. I have blown my share of wrong notes in ministry as well. I do not like to do things poorly. When I feel unqualified—whether by talent or temperament—I am tempted to quit while I am behind. Each year my denomination asks pastors to file a report on what is happening numerically in our churches. A few times I have been proud to complete it, but in general I dislike the report because the hard numbers reveal a weakness in me. My pastoral ministry has not borne a significant number of conversions. This is not because I lack desire. I want to lead others to Christ. I work at relational evangelism. In public I include salt in my conversations. In church I preach a number of evangelistic sermons each year and include a gospel component in many others. I ask for a response after I preach, but the fruit ...
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