"Counseling Men, Counseling Women"
Jim Smith
The differences between men and women are usually subtle and often don't follow a stereotyped pattern. Then again, there's a reason for the stereotypes and a reason for counselors to know them.
—Jim Smith He gave her a pair of shock absorbers for her birthday. She wasn't happy. She came to see me, dragging her husband behind. "He's so insensitive," she complained about her husband. "He doesn't really care about me. He never thinks about what I want. What made him think I would want shock absorbers for my birthday? I sometimes wonder if he even loves me." He couldn't understand the problem. "Heck, she's been complaining about the bouncy ride in the car. And our car was unsafe with the old shock absorbers. I thought she'd appreciate the fact that I'm watching out for her comfort and safety." This brief, somewhat humorous composite of countless counseling experiences displays many of the dynamics that take place in counseling men and women. These dynamics are essential for me to understand. If I know how men usually act and how women usually act, I know better what to listen for and how to respond effectively. Identifying the differences between men and women can help in many counseling situations. The differences are subtle, and not always do they follow a stereotyped pattern. Then again, there's a reason for the stereotypes and a reason for us to know them. It's like Jose Canseco's knowing that Nolan Ryan usually throws a fastball on a three-and-two count. It's helpful in most of those situations, although Canseco also needs to be prepared for a hard curve. Most men and most women fall into certain psychological patterns. Although many will throw us hard curves, understanding their usual patterns of behavior can enhance our ability ...
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