When Pastoring Makes You Angry
Ed Dobson
Few people work under higher expectations to be nice than pastors, yet few occupations nurture as much anger.
— Ed Dobson My father pastored in Belfast, Northern Ireland, for seven years. Every Sunday he preached and then walked to the door to shake parishioners' hands. And every Sunday one man said on his way out, "Well, you got it off your chest again, didn't you?" I never heard my father complain about that man's disrespect for his preaching (he only recently told me about it). He was able to forbear. If the same thing happened to me, I would probably go to that man, ask him what his problem is, and suggest there are 480 Protestant churches in town, one of which should be able to please him! Pastoral life is ripe soil for rage. Criticism comes often and unfairly. Hard work may return small tangible results. Members resist leadership and change. Conflicts among church workers are endemic. Volunteers don't show up for promised work. We're pulled between giving our best to our families or to the church. There is never enough money, never enough time, never enough help. The work is never done. Few people work under higher expectations to be nice than pastors, yet few occupations nurture as much anger. The result: many pastors are like a wide spot in a swiftly flowing river. On the surface, the water is fairly placid, but underneath is a dangerous undercurrent. What should we do about this undertow of frustration, hurts, aggravation? Recognizing the Anger
In our culture, many people think of the pastor as the nicest person in town, always smiling as benignly as a funeral director, never offended by even the unkindest cut. Consciously or unconsciously, most pastors try to live up to the omni-nice image. That is as it should be; we are ...
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