When Your Spouse Resents the Church
Louis McBurney
If your wife resents you or the church, it isn't just her problem. You certainly share in the consequences.
— Louis McBurney Travis's first couple of years at First Church as an associate pastor went well: he got along with the senior pastor with only a few, minor disturbances. By his third year, however, things began to deteriorate, and that began to affect his wife. Travis was a maverick who shared most of the cultural symbols of his baby-boom generation. He had worn his hair long since adolescence. He dressed casually. He was "into" movies. He enjoyed contemporary music. His lifestyle seemed to run counter to most of the older, mainstream leaders of the congregation. Yet he was a loving, committed, effective minister having a noticeable impact on the growth of the church. At first he displayed a defensive, almost rebellious attitude about the criticism coming his way. The people could accept him the way he was or ask him to leave! Finally he consented to wear his hair shorter, but he refused to wear a coat and tie in the office. Not only was he a maverick in his lifestyle, he began to challenge the social stance of the church. He began an inner-city ministry that was attracting to the church people from lower economic levels. Church people felt showing concern for the homeless was one thing; sitting by them in worship was something else. Worse than that, in some people's minds, was his lack of respect for denominational ties. The church had been the most prominent congregation in the state, the flagship of the fleet. Now this renegade staff member seemed to devalue that position. For that, he began taking heat from the church elders and other church staff. Naturally, Travis confided in his wife. And naturally, Barb rallied ...
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