Strength for the Weekly Grind
Steve Brown
We can muster heroic acts of sacrifice, commitment, and self-denial for a while, but eventually if we don't pay attention to our personal needs, we run out of steam.
— Steve Brown Ben Haden, pastor of First Presbyterian Church in Chattanooga, Tennessee, and an old friend, had spoken at a meeting in Miami, and I was driving him to the airport. At the time, in addition to pastoring, I was commuting by plane each week to Reformed Theological Seminary, where I served as adjunct preaching professor, and hosted an all-night radio program on Sunday nights (and sleeping most of Monday, my day off). I felt I was handling it pretty well. Although I often tossed and turned at night, I would think, I'll sleep better tomorrow night. Although at times I dealt with a load of unjustified anger or low-grade depression, I would brush it off as my having a bad week. People in church would say, "Pastor, you look tired," but that made me feel good. Besides, I felt, you can't pay much attention to that or you'll begin babying yourself. Anyway, I did take a day here or there golfing or at the beach. On the way to the airport, Ben said, "Steve, you're close to a nervous breakdown." That gave me pause; I didn't want to admit it, but after a little reflection, I realized he was right. I was exhausted. Sometimes, when ministry pressure gets to me, I have a fantasy I go back to North Carolina and a simpler way of life. I become a disk jockey again (or better yet, a vinyl repairman), work nine to five, watch television, love people, and spend time with my family. There was a time when I said in jest — but was more serious than anyone knew — that if they'd let me bring my wife, I'd become a Trappist monk. Many things can turn ministry into a weekly grind. Boredom. ...
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