When to Intervene
Marshall Shelley
January 1, 1997
Without some kind of personal relationship, intervention is difficult and risky.
—Marshall Shelley A pastor encountered one of life's little dramas playing itself out as he entered the YMCA: a toddler wearing a wet bathing suit was coming out the door from the swimming pool area, and her mother was saying, "You are such a coward!" The child was shivering, and her cheeks were wet—from tears or the pool? The pastor couldn't tell. She simply stood there shaking as her mother continued, "It's the same every week. You always make your daddy and me ashamed. Sometimes I can't believe you're my daughter." The pastor found himself thinking, I wonder what the penalty is for hitting a woman? "What she was doing was more hurtful, more brutal than a beating," he reflected. "It was emotional child abuse, and if it continues, that toddler will grow up feeling worthless, which will lead to all kinds of destructive behavior." If that woman had been a member of your congregation, what would you have done? Most pastors feel the urge to do something, either immediately or eventually, to help the mother realize what's at stake, to help her be a better parent. Even if she isn't asking for help. When is intervention appropriate? How do you enter a situation uninvited? It's not an easy decision. Recognizing the Risk
Sometimes pastors step in—and later regret it. Despite pure motives and a deep desire to help, their well-intentioned intervention can at times do more harm than good. Earl and Edna Waring were in their forties, and they were childless. David Lindquist, their pastor, also noticed—along with everyone else—their penchant for public bickering. In the adult Sunday school class, Earl would joke about looking forward to the church potluck "so I can ...
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