Leading Your Church Through Conflict and Reconciliation

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In one short week, Kirk had been sucked into a quagmire involving the chairman of his board, a highly placed church leader, and two other members of the congregation. If the matter came before the board, it could polarize the church.
—David Goetz

Kirk Thullin expected Rob to grunt his way through the hour of marital counseling. Last week's session had seemed futile.

But on this day, Rob, without his wife Jennifer, was eager to chat about his stormy marriage. The hour breezed by. As he stood up to leave, he said, "I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but Jennifer has been in sex therapy for the past year."

Pastor Kirk leaned back in his chair and swiveled a half-turn toward Rob. I should never have agreed to see this couple, Kirk thought. I'm really not a marriage counselor.

It was a favor to Ken Hutchenson, chairman of the church board. Ken had helped Kirk get his legs under him when he arrived at Harrison Flats Community Church ten years ago. Ken, a corporate lawyer close to retirement, was among his most trusted church allies. A month earlier, Ken had asked him to see his daughter and son-in-law, who had recently separated after six years of marriage and one son. Kirk didn't know them well.

Rob continued, "Her therapist says her sexual problems stem from sexual abuse as a child."

Kirk drew in his next breath sharply. Lord, please don't let it be Ken, he thought.

"It was Brian."

"Ken's brother?"

"You'd better talk to Jennifer yourself."

After Rob left, Kirk stared out the office window at a thundercloud forming in the reddening evening sky. Not Brian, he thought. Brian and his wife, Liz, also attended the church. An electrical contractor, Brian served on the church building committee and had just started a men's Bible study. ...

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