When You Need to Confront
Daniel Brown
Christians who are never reproved usually harbor some instability or unsoundness in their faith.
—Daniel Brown His wife was ready to leave him. He was a Christian, but he often lost his temper, saying terrible, hateful things. His conduct was breaking his wife in two and creating rebellious children. When his wife threatened to walk out, he finally consented to talk with me. He was obviously uncomfortable speaking about his relationship with his wife and children. "What I do in my home is nobody's business," he said. "That isn't true," I responded. "You may not like what I'm going to say, but I have to say it: You must find a way to change your behavior." Transformation didn't come easily for him. "You're trying to turn me into an old mare," he groused. "I'm a stallion, not a mare." It took some time to convince him that his homelife was not merely his business, but that it affected the happiness of many others. But after three years, I have seen in his relationship with his family an incredible turnaround, and his children now demonstrate a genuine commitment to the Lord. Why are such turnarounds so rare? Perhaps it is because they rarely occur without large doses of confrontation, a pastoral responsibility that is supremely difficult, scary, and often ineffective—because the response to it depends on the will of the one confronted. One of the great challenges of leadership is learning to confront. As a pastor, I am to be "admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that [I] may present everyone perfect in Christ" (Col. 1:28). As much as I'd like to, I can't confine that task to the pulpit, because my sermons cannot address each individual's attitudes, behaviors, and choices. From the pulpit, I can't say to one person, ...
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