Living With Great Expectations
Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.
Thomas á Kempis
Never sacrifice the permanent on the altar of the immediate.
Bob Krayning
When we candidated at our church," said a pastor's wife from Wisconsin, "I passed out cards and asked people to write what they expected of me. The answers were so diverse: inviting members into our home, chairing the women's group, writing a column for the newsletter, teaching Sunday school, singing in the choir, directing the Christmas pageant. Some others said, 'We expect you only to concentrate on your family so your husband is free to minister to the church.'"
She concluded, "I thought if I tried to please the Lord I'd please the church. But it doesn't always work that way."
Children of pastors also feel expectations. One of the most common is the need to be everyone's friend but nobody's best friend. The pastor of a rural church in Kansas explained that he'd recently had to have a talk with his 8-year-old daughter, Shandra. She had a special friendship with her classmate Melissa, but another girl her age in the church felt left out. The other girl's parents complained to the pastor that Shandra was ignoring their daughter.
"Shandra wasn't consciously ignoring the other girl," said the pastor. "She simply felt closer to Melissa, and they did things together. But I talked with Shandra and explained the importance of making everyone in Sunday school feel welcome. She's conscious that part of our role in the church is to help befriend everyone."
The Odd Assortment
The surveys and interviews identified some of the commonly felt expectations — some legitimate, some difficult, some impossible:
"They expect our family to be an example. ...
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