The Difficulties
All happy families resemble each other; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
Leo Tolstoy A number of ministry families can identify with the pastor's teenage son who frequently wears a t-shirt imprinted, Property of First Church. "It's the only way I can express the way I feel," he says. Yes, we must admit that for all the advantages of raising a family in a ministry home, there are also a number of difficulties. When asked about the disadvantages of raising a family in a minister's home, those surveyed offered wide-ranging responses: "The telephone rings all the time, interrupting our family time." "My husband is never able to sit with us in worship." "The uncertainty of your tenure at a church." "There's exposure to a spiritual atmosphere, but there can also be overexposure to failures of Christians." "We see the warts of everyone. Everyone sees ours. I strongly identify with the problems of being so close to God's work and close to sin as well." "Always having to 'be there' — not able to do anything spontaneous on weekends." "Any trouble I get into with the congregation is magnified because I'm the pastor. My kids see their dad being attacked, or more likely, they hear from their classmates, 'My parents think your dad really blew it — he got the Smiths really mad at him.' Some pastors' kids have been told, 'Your dad ought to get out of here,' which can be devastating." "Time pressure limits our opportunities for family events." "Sunday is never a relaxing day." Tolstoy said each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way, referring to the tendency of a family to feel its problems are unique. These quotations do show a variety of difficulties, but the bulk of the surveys point to concerns that most ministry families have in ...
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