Confronting Directly
Whatever you do, let people see that you are in good earnest. You cannot break men's hearts by jesting with them or telling them a smooth tale or patching up a gaudy oration. Men will not cast away their dearest pleasures upon a drowsy request of one who seems not to mean as he speaks, or to care much whether his request is granted. Let us, therefore, rouse ourselves to the work of the Lord and speak to our people as for their lives.
Richard Baxter An elder, a close personal friend of the pastor, recently filed for corporate and personal bankruptcy. "It's a tragedy," said the pastor. "But he was a 'positive thinking' kind of person who, when you asked him how things were going, would always say, 'Fantastic!' That was part of the problem. He was so optimistic about his business that he didn't pay attention to the warning signs. Consequently, the business went under, and they're going to lose their house and most of their possessions. He finally told me about it after it happened." "Fred," the pastor had said, "where have you been? I'm your friend. I'm your pastor. Why didn't you let me know sooner?" "I don't know." "Do you remember when you were at my house, and I talked about almost losing my first church because I hadn't vet learned how to read the financial accounts?" "Yeah. You were asking about me then, weren't you?" "Yes, I even asked about financial threats you faced in your business. Why wouldn't you tell me?" "I just didn't want to admit defeat," said Fred. Now he and the pastor are meeting regularly, talking through the financial and spiritual realities in all of this. "Fred finally is ready to admit a need for help," the pastor says. "But his wife still won't talk to me. She's never rude, but when I call her once or twice ...
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