Not Singled Out
We all benefit by blending singles and marrieds.
Mark Heilman
October 1, 2006
Singles ministry has been a vital part of our church for 20 years: singles classes, singles socials, singles retreats, singles small groups, singles service projects. All beneficial. But the range of needs for our never-married and newly-single adults has become broader and more urgent, which has led us to a different approach. I was struck me three years ago while teaching a class on "Ministering to Aging Parents" when I suddenly noted that half of those attending were single! I realized that many of the hardships singles face are common to everyone. Since then, our church has sought to offer both single-specific learning opportunities, and to eliminate some of the long-standing ministry silos, encouraging married and single adults to learn and serve together. Three words characterize our approach with single adults. A starting point is helping the newly single stabilize, through divorce groups and grief groups, single parenting help, and practical care. Next, we help singles learn as they do honest personal assessment, Bible study, and connect with a small group. Then, while continuing to learn, singles serve in their areas of healing and expertise. Even as we address single-specific needs, we emphasize repeatedly that they are part of a compassionate body. I can't imagine helping single parents without the support of our children's ministry, youth pastors, and other adult ministries. More and more small groups are formed with both married and single members. As Carol, of one of our empty nest singles, put it: "I very much relate to couples because I was married for 25 years. I find it so helpful to ask their opinion when I need to make decisions. But I'm also able to minister to them, reminding them to never take each other ...
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