Shifting Family Values
The ties that bind feel looser at church and tighter at the parsonage.
The Leadership survey reported by Eric Reed
October 1, 2006
The New Family Trump Card. That's what one pastor calls it. "I can't be at the meeting tonight, Pastor. My kid has a thing." The "thing" might be a ball game, flute practice, play date, or weariness from last night's sleepover—anything trumps a church obligation. The increased emphasis on "family time," even at the expense of meaningful involvement in church life, is a sign of the times. It's one way Generations X and Y are making up for the hands-off, latch-key childrearing styles that characterized their Boomer parents: heavy investment in the kids, and everything else takes a back seat—including church. This shift in values is a common theme in the Leadership study on church life and family. We asked 490 pastors to share their insights on the changing relationship between the local congregation and its constituent families, to examine the larger question of church as "family," and to crack open the door to the parsonage and tell us about their own marriage and family. In summary, we can say the ties that bind people together as church family seem looser these days; but at home, many pastors are feeling the cinch. Overprogrammed Kids and Churches
The phenomenon of overprogrammed kids in the last decade or so is well documented—to the point of satire. (A recent sitcom showed an alien begging off an invasion of Earth because his kid had "a thing.") What isn't so well documented is the effect this legion of extracurricular activities has on church life. The pastors we surveyed report the overall busyness of families is keeping families away from church. Asked whether people are spending more discretionary time on family activities or church commitments, 76 percent said the scale tipped toward family activities. This ...
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