Worshiping to Distraction
July 1, 2000
I still can't figure out what the ushers were thinking when they let the dog into the church. Granted, the door was open. The dog assumed he was welcome, but they didn't even try to stop him. At least they didn't offer him a bulletin. Things really got exciting when the beast scurried under the pews to avoid capture. I thought for a few minutes we would witness the Massachusetts version of the 'Mississippi Squirrel Revival.' Don't you marvel at the frequent distractions in worship? Here's a sampling. You couldn't possibly make up this stuff. Eye-catching apparel
One memorable clothing distraction was The Sweater. A leader in our church, a giant of a man, came to serve communion in a red ski sweater. I love sweaters, and there's nothing wrong with wearing one to church, but this was a whole lot of sweater. Yards of bright red wool, ornamented with big white reindeer. How can you contemplate the sacrifice of Christ when you're nose to nose with Rudolph? I decided not to say anything, but the next month he showed up again in the same outfit. Apparently it was his communion sweater. It was time to talk. The apparel distraction category also includes young women who come to worship underclothed. One blossoming teen sang a solo wearing a blouse she had outgrown a few grades previously. Mom and Dad sat proudly in the audience, oblivious to the distraction their daughter was causing. Another soloist once wore a dress so short that none of us sitting directly behind her knew where to look. I settled on a prayerful, head-bowed stance. Electronic demons
We've all grown accustomed to the chorus of beeps and buzzes as electronic watches across the sanctuary signal the hour. I was not prepared for Joe's new watch. Joe was visually challenged ...
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