Pastor, Do You Love Us?
January 1, 1999
The cold February drizzle of the Pacific Northwest matched perfectly the atmosphere inside the church building. Between worship services, underneath a gray skylight, Jim pulled me aside as I was rushing by him. A former collegiate wrestler who stood six-three, Jim was now a banker, the father of six, a gentle man.
"May I ask you a question?" he asked politely.
"Certainly," I responded, equally polite, fidgeting at having been slowed down.
"Do you love us?" came his unexpected query.
Suddenly I fidgeted for a different reason. What kind of question is that? I thought, before stammering back, "Why, of course I do. Why do you ask?"
"We can't tell. We can't tell with any of you pastors. You are so busy, it seems as if we are on our own."
I don't remember the rest of the conversation. I don't remember the sermon that day. But I will never forget the haunting question "Do you love us?"
He was right to ask. My job had not been much fun lately. I was the associate pastor, watching the senior pastor become embroiled in conflict. Though I avoided much of the war, a few stray bullets found me.
I can't remember one thing I had done up to that point to intentionally communicate my love to the people in the congregation. I purposed that day that no one would ever have to ask me that question again. I would be a lover, if nothing else. Thus began the romance with my congregation.
Almost a year from the day Jim asked me "the question," I became the senior pastor of the church. I became keenly aware that the mark of a true shepherd is he cares for the sheep. Suddenly I had to ask myself again, Do I love them? How do I let them know?
Love for the long haul
Including interims, I was pastor number fourteen in 52 years, an average tenure of three years. ...
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