Bullied No More
How I got by with a little help from my friends.
Sheron C. Patterson
January 1, 1998
It appeared I had jumped in over my head at
my first senior pastorate. The church was bitter and broken from a soured
relationship with its former pastor. He abruptly left one day, and I was
hastily shuttled in. I intended to usher in healing and hope, but I underestimated the depth of
congregational pain. The church was swollen, and it throbbed. Infighting
was basic operating procedure. Quickly the enormous negativity engulfed me.
Their pain became my pain. I soon discovered the church had a bully—a petite, articulate, well-dressed
woman bent on controlling the church like she had her household. Carrie ruled
the congregation with a caustic tongue. She'd burst into a meeting, lob a
few strategically placed insults and cusses, and the room belonged to her. I became Carrie's main target. She'd tear down any idea I put forth in a
meeting, talk loudly to herself during my sermons, and regularly put her
car in my designated parking spot. I kept waiting for someone to rescue me, but the members' silence encouraged
her and intensified the pressure on me to do something, anything. I attempted
to mask my distress, but inside, I was withering under her assaults. Fear
can strip the soul to shreds. The threatening call
Eventually Carrie began to phone me daily, just to start an argument, always
at 10:45 a.m. One day, I realized this could not go on. "Sister Brown was admitted to the hospital this morning. Why aren't you there
with her?" Carrie demanded. "Oh, I did not know that she had been admitted. I will go check on her today,"
I responded as calmly as possible. "If you were any kind of a pastor, you would have already been there. You're
just lazy and stupid. Who in the world told you that you were qualified to
serve ...
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