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You Know It's a Bad Meeting When...
July 1, 1997
- The church loudmouth rises to his feet and announces dramatically, "I can no longer remain silent . …"
- Mike Wallace and the 60 Minutes crew are there to film it.
- Your picture ends up on a milk carton.
- People arrive at the meeting, clutching copies of books about "spiritual abuse."
- The church constitution suddenly becomes revered as the most important legal document since the Magna Charta.
- The little, blue-haired lady who's in charge of the nursery pounds the lectern with her shoe and screams, "We will bury you!"
- The next day your spouse books a one-way flight out of state and doesn't invite you to come along.
- Your neighbors hear about the meeting on their police scanner.
- A loyal supporter presses a can of Mace into your hands.
- Another loyal supporter presses a can of Coors into your hands.
- Another loyal supporter presses Jack Kevorkian's business card into your hands.
- You're asked to try on a pair of bloody gloves.
- People begin referring to you as "our former pastor."
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