The Church of Your Dreams
January 1, 1996
The serious Christian, set down for the first time in a Christian community, is likely to bring with him a very definite idea of what Christian life together should be and try to realize it. But God's grace speedily shatters such dreams.
—Dietrich Bonhoeffer Each member of the board was a friend. Confident they would understand, I planned to tell them the truth. As their pastor I had listened to their pain in time of need; I knew they would listen to me in mine. After the business part of my pastor's report, I shared my situation. "I'm really tired," I began. "The doctor says I have pneumonia. My load here is hardly bearable at times." I went on about my problems. One board member began fidgeting. His face reddened and wrinkled. He held his thoughts as long as he could (which wasn't very long). "We're all tired," he said. "We're all stretched to the limit. Your job is no more difficult than ours … " His comments, which began civilly, degenerated into acid. "I'm offended," he continued, "that you think you work so much harder than we do. You need to understand us. You don't know what we face out there." I defended myself by attempting to describe my unique responsibilities. Pretty soon I realized I was playing into his hand. The other board members were becoming offended by my defense. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I just wanted to tell them how tired I was. I didn't mean to imply that I worked harder than they did. How did this turn out so badly? During a lapse in his volley, I turned to him and the board and said: "I have spent many hours with each of you in private, listening to you express your frustrations and tiredness. Have I judged any of you or your work as you poured out your heart to me? Why are you ...
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