Grating Expectations
January 1, 1996
I looked at the results of the spiritual gift inventory and gulped. The areas I'd scored highest in, preaching and discernment, came as little surprise; I enjoyed speaking and counseling. But way down the list were shepherding and mercy, two gifts associated with effective pastoring. I had suspected for some time what the test confirmed. I was a good communicator, but I struggled with people skills. I lived for Sunday mornings but found visitation difficult to get motivated for. But here I was, a pastor in a small church. The expectations leaned much more toward strong people skills and contact, and much less toward preaching and leadership. Why had God led me to such a position? What should I do? Should I stay in a job that seemed, by definition, to require a different person? Or was there room in the local church for pastors who weren't first and foremost shepherds? Over time I discovered there is room for pastors who don't always fit the image of personable parson. But reaching it requires accepting some truths. CANCEL RESERVATIONS FOR A GUILT TRIP
"Why don't you spend more time showing attention to your own people?" an older member of the church angrily said over the phone. "You're always interested in some new program or idea. Why don't you just be a pastor?" He had a point. I didn't fit his idea of a pastor. I didn't enjoy long hours over coffee in someone's living room. I didn't look for the next church supper. I didn't attend every birthday or graduation party. I carried guilt about that. I knew I fell short of the expectations of many people in the congregation. After all, my passions were for speaking, writing, innovation, and evangelism. But in a smaller church, those gifts were novelties, not necessities. It took me ...
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