WHAT PARENTS OF A HANDICAPPED BABY NEED MOST
Steve Harris
April 1, 1985
As a pastor, I know that the most enjoyable call is a visit to the maternity ward to congratulate new parents. But what happens when news comes that the child has serious handicaps? As a parent of a child with spina bifida, I've learned what kinds of ministries are most deeply appreciated. Here's what a pastor can do—in the first twenty-four hours—to help the hurting family.
1. Be there. Your very presence at the hospital is an important statement of love and concern. The new parents, bombarded with an onrush of doctors, nurses, specialists, and social workers, will appreciate a familiar face. Often immediate surgery will be needed. The pastor's "ministry of presence" can be powerful.
2. Be ready for varied emotions. The young couple will probably be feeling dozens of emotions at once: joy, sadness, anxiety, guilt, apprehension, confusion, anger. Be ready to absorb those emotions without judgment or analysis. This is a time when listening is a very special gift.
3. Attend to needed celebrations. A child, a beautiful gift from God, has entered the world. Help the couple, and the church, to celebrate that miracle. Make sure all of the "regular" festivities are planned and carried out: the rosebud on the pulpit, flowers to the hospital, showers (if possible). At an appropriate time, speak with the parents about any desire to have the child baptized or dedicated. Don't avoid the needed celebrations.
4. Don't forget the grandparents. The birth of a child, especially a handicapped child, affects not just the two parents but the entire family. The pastor aware of the grandparents can help them express the joy and grief they might be feeling.
5. Consider practical needs. The church family, if mobilized, is an excellent resource ...
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