Conflict Winter 1993

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I have more important things to do than to talk to walls or be yelled at by old men! I thought to myself as I strode out of Whispering Pines Nursing Home and got into my car. It's going to be a long time before I set foot in that place again. . . and it was.

My frustration was partly due to a sense of guilt over my neglect of the three Alzheimer's patients I had just tried to visit. Another part was a feeling of futility.

Ulga, Bill, and Gerald just got crowded out of my heavy schedule most of the time, and my visits to them never seemed productive.

Today, I had found Ulga in her room sitting beside her bed. She was rocking back and forth in her chair (it was not a rocking chair), humming and staring at the wall about six feet in front of her.

"Good morning, Ulga," I said in my most cheery voice. No response. Ulga continued to rock.

I stood in front of her and repeated, "Good morning, Ulga. How are you today?"

Ulga stopped her rocking momentarily, but not her humming. She turned her head in my direction, but her eyes were not focused on me.

I bent down to place my face only a few feet from her face in a vain attempt to capture her attention and raised my voice to a mild shout.

"Hi, Ulga! I dropped by because I thought you'd like to have me read some Scripture and pray with you."

Ulga didn't respond; I wanted to leave. Paging through my Bible, I found a short psalm, read it quickly, and rattled off a short prayer.

"Bye, Ulga. I hope you have a good day. I'll stop by and see you again some day." A quizzical look crossed Ulga's face.

"Who are you?" she asked. I didn't even pause to answer, but turned and marched out the door. I hoped my visit with Bill would go better.

Bill sat dozing in his wheelchair in the hallway outside his room.

"Bill," ...

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