Outreach Fall 1991

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The late-term miscarriage didn't matter-not really, Carla thought. What mattered to Carla was pleasing her husband. She would do just about anything to improve their difficult marriage.

Carla had married young, committing herself to helping her husband earn his graduate degree at the university. Some day he would be an important man, and then she would be respected as well.

Carla could not remember her parents ever praising her as a child. She was frequently punished and told that she was bad. Once after church, she heard her parents say to the pastor, "We can't help it if our child was born bad, can we?" The pastor didn't say anything, but Carla was sure he disliked her, too. Just about everyone else did.

So when the international student at the cafe where she waited on tables asked her out, she was shocked. She was still more shocked when later he asked her to marry him. He was older and so intelligent. She wasn't going to college, of course. Her parents didn't consider her worth educating, but they approved of her getting married.

Carla assumed that when she got married, her mother would like her-maybe even show her some affection. Marrying someone intelligent certainly was proof she was worth something.

But her parents didn't respect her any more after the marriage than they had before. They showed a lot of attention, however, to the young man she married. They even helped him with finances to continue his studies.

Carla didn't know much about her husband before she married him, but that didn't matter to her. He was smart. She had often dreamed about going to college herself, but she pushed the idea out of her mind. Instead she married her dream and worked hard so her husband could advance himself.

Going to church had always ...

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