MINISTERING TO VICTIMS OF INCEST
January 1, 1988
I can't believe it," said my wife. "The woman I talked to this morning was molested by her father for nine years and never thought of herself as a victim!" My wife's new friend struggled emotionally during high school and college but seemed to be adjusting well to her graduate work. It was evident, however, that she had been hurt. In a later conversation she said, "I just sealed off all the feelings. The few times I tried to analyze what had happened, I couldn't let myself blame my dad, so that left me blaming myself. I guess I decided it was better to feel nothing." When ministering to victims of incest, often the first thing we do is help them deal with the fact that they are victims. Sorting the past
"When it was happening, I thought God must be punishing me," Debbie said. "Why else would anyone want to do those terrible things to me?" I assured her that God does not take pleasure in seeing his children hurt. As we talked, she began to realize abuse is the result of people's sinfulness, not God's disfavor. As long as there is sin in the world, there will be abuse, and as long as there is abuse, there will be victims. "It helps to know I'm not the only one this has happened to and that it was my father, not God, who was hurting me," she said. "Debbie," I went on, "we don't know why God permits such things, but we do know he never leaves us and he understands our hurts." Together we read several verses of Scripture (Heb. 4:15; Ps. 91:1-6), which seemed to bring comfort. One common fear is the reaction of others: What will people think? Will they want to be my friend? "I never told a soul until I was in college," Jackie said. "I was afraid of what people would think of me, and I guess it was also my way of denying it ever happened. ...
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