SILENCE ISN'T ALWAYS GOLDEN
Michael R. Baer
July 1, 1986
We wanted to have something special for the children in our services, so one of our ladies volunteered to deliver a children's sermon. These sermons, however, quickly became discourses aimed at the congregation. (After all, what do three-year-olds care about the various theories of inspiration or eschatology?) I needed to correct the situation. But the best I could manage was to drop little hints.
I was a pastoral doormat. I knew what was right, but I was far too unsure of myself to speak it out. Perhaps I was afraid of the conflict that might occur if I really told it like it was. Or maybe I just didn't think that my opinions, feelings, or rights had much validity. Anyway, regardless of the reason, I rarely spoke my true feelings. And I was frustrated.
Occasionally my frustrations would increase to the point of explosion. Then I would take my stand. Unfortunately, I usually took a stand over something that had little meaning, or I would do it in a rather angry or aggressive way. Or I spoke about it from the pulpit, where I didn't have to worry about someone talking back. Usually, though, I just kept it to myself and stewed.
I still remember a time we proposed several elders for ordination in our church. As the names were read from the pulpit, one woman's face darkened. She was upset, she told me later, because her husband had not been nominated. There was a reason for this "oversight" (he lacked the spiritual maturity), but rather than tell her, I muttered something about checking into it at the next board meeting. To make a long story short, the woman's lobbying succeeded in getting her husband's name added to the list and he was presented to the church. But he was voted down. It was a public embarrassment for him and his ...
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