Making the Rough Places Smooth
L. Penseur
January 1, 2002
"What do you do about shaving?" my friend Steve asked me the other day, from behind roughly four days worth of beard. "Pardon?" I asked. "I really hate to shave," Steve said, without a trace of shame. Well, this is a sentiment pretty far from the heart of L. Penseur. I love to shave, and have since the age of four. At that tender age I would clamber up on the toilet seat when Papa was engaged in his morning scraping and scratching. Back then he had a razor into which you actually inserted razor blades, if you can believe it. He would give me his spare, soap me up with his brush, and I would scrape away at the foam, staring critically at the job I was doing in the corner of the mirror I could just barely reach by a precarious, nearly horizontal lean. It was another 12 years before I could begin the job in earnest. I suspect I jumped the gun by a few months. There were plenty of guys in high school who got a pretty heavy growth of down before they took the plunge. I was in there with a pack of disposables as soon as things started to get a little dark around the corners of my mouth, which, strangely enough, are now some of the lightest areas of growth in terms of Penseurian Follicle Development. And let me assure you, Penseurian Follicle Development is a growth industry. If my torso was a farm, the Department of Agriculture would be paying me a substantial subsidy to avoid my flooding the hair market and making it difficult for Minnesota hair farmers of Scandinavian descent to feed their large, hairless families. Since her early teenage years, my sister has greatly enjoyed screaming, "the missing link!" whenever her shirtless brother comes into view. In those days my follicle fecundity was a source of teenage angst. Maturity has ...
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